{"product_id":"soft-hair-t-shirt","title":"Soft Hair - T-Shirt","description":"\u003ch3 data-end=\"888\" data-start=\"858\"\u003eSoft Hair by Event Horizon\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"988\" data-start=\"890\"\u003eIn classical physics, black holes were said to have \u003cem data-end=\"951\" data-start=\"942\"\u003eno hair\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003cbr data-end=\"955\" data-start=\"952\"\u003eModern theory suggests otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1153\" data-start=\"990\"\u003eThis vintage-inspired design reimagines the “soft hair” concept as a 1970s beauty advertisement — because apparently, even black holes deserve proper conditioning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1184\" data-start=\"1155\"\u003eMinimal. Clean. Dead serious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1378\" data-start=\"1186\"\u003eA perfect circle of cosmic darkness, surrounded by impossibly soft, salon-level volume. Below it, a fictional product bottle from \u003cstrong data-end=\"1333\" data-start=\"1316\"\u003eEvent Horizon\u003c\/strong\u003e — because great hair starts at the boundary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1518\" data-start=\"1380\"\u003eWhether you’re into theoretical physics, black hole paradoxes, or just appreciate understated nerd humor, this shirt quietly does the job.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1566\" data-start=\"1520\"\u003eNo explanations. No equations. Just soft hair.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dork Matter","offers":[{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":53328266395975,"sku":"7878079_20415","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":53328266428743,"sku":"7878079_20409","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":53328266461511,"sku":"7878079_20412","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":53328266494279,"sku":"7878079_20406","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":53328266527047,"sku":"7878079_20403","price":31.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 3XL","offer_id":53328266559815,"sku":"7878079_20400","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":53328279798087,"sku":"2973986_482","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ M","offer_id":53328279830855,"sku":"2973986_513","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ L","offer_id":53328279863623,"sku":"2973986_544","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":53328279896391,"sku":"2973986_575","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":53328279929159,"sku":"2973986_606","price":31.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 3XL","offer_id":53328279961927,"sku":"2973986_637","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0901\/8173\/0631\/files\/0383-nat-soft-hair-female.jpg?v=1770922069","url":"https:\/\/dorkmatter.co\/products\/soft-hair-t-shirt","provider":"Dork Matter","version":"1.0","type":"link"}