About Us

Welcome to Dork Matter — the only t-shirt brand brave enough to ask, “What if dark matter... but dumber?”

We specialize in wearable nonsense for people who think sarcasm is a love language and existential dread pairs well with pizza. Our designs are scientifically unproven, fashionably questionable, and psychologically soothing (probably).

Founded by people who break into a sweat at the thought of meeting other humans, we channel our social anxiety into glorious cotton-based sarcasm. Every shirt is a fabric-based cry for help — stylish, comfortable, and unlikely to solve any of your actual problems. But hey, you’ll look great while spiraling.

Whether you're a dork, a nerd, a weirdo, or just accidentally ended up here after Googling something unfortunate — stay a while. Buy a shirt. Confuse your neighbors.

Dork Matter: It’s like dark matter, but with more questionable puns.